But Not Forgotten
by littlemisslibrarian
Summary: One-shot/flash fiction: After Pinkie Pie takes her own life, the mane five wonder what they will do when one Element of Harmony is missing. Rated T for dark themes.


**Author's Note: Normally I try not to overuse author's notes because I believe a work should stand by itself, but something very similar to this happened recently and that's why I'm writing this story, to deal with my own feelings and maybe help other people. So if you need to talk to somebody, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1 (800) 273-8255 or text HOME to 741741 for the Crisis Text Line. If you just need to talk but are not in crisis, 7 Cups of Tea is a decent website though you might have to be patient. And of course, talk to your friends and family. They care, even if you think they don't. Just don't isolate yourself.  
**

 **Also, even though this is a very personal story, if you see writing errors please let me know. I'm a Creative Writing major so I can handle criticism.**

Twilight Sparkle sat on the cold crystalline floor of her castle library, her horn glowing as she enveloped pink, yellow, and blue carnations in purple magic. She shifted them this way and that, swapping them like a shell game. She paused for a minute, tilting her head, then growled in annoyance. They were crooked. She adjusted them again, but there was too much yellow on one side now. She started to move them around yet again when Applejack gently slid the sky blue vase away from her. She reluctantly released her hold on the flowers.

"You're puttin' it off, aren't you?"

"No, I just want them to be perfect, to honor Pinkie Pie."

"D'ya really think Pinkie would care about perfection? That's Rarity's job! Pinkie Pie'd throw a party if she only had two twigs to decorate with!"

Rarity looked up, her spoon levitating halfway to her mouth and a tub of ice cream floating nearby. Both were surrounded by a sparkling blue aura. She was sprawled across a sofa, where she had been alternately sobbing and eating comfort food for the past hour.

"She actually did that once, for my birthday," Rarity said, blinking back tears. Her mascara left black streaks down her face. "She made it work, though."

Fluttershy nodded, still holding Gummy, whom she had recently inherited. The toothless alligator had his mouth full of her cotton-candy pink mane, which reminded him of his owner. Fluttershy had been at the party.

Twilight sighed, all energy suddenly drained from her body. She just wanted to lay on the floor and let the cold seep into her.

Rainbow Dash jabbed her in the side and she jumped to her feet with a yelp.

"Come on, let's go already! I don't want to fly through the Everfree Forest in the dark!"

"Yes, right, we should... we should go."

The five ponies, and one alligator, shuffled out of the castle. Even Rainbow Dash didn't feel like racing ahead, though as usual she flew a few feet above the ground. Twilight wished she could just teleport them there, but she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything more complex than levitation the past few days. The imperfect vase hovered next to her.

The five reached the Tree of Harmony at sunset, and they stopped just outside the cave to stand in front of the freshly dug mound of dirt. Pinkie Pie's final resting place.

"Why didn't she talk to any of us," Rainbow Dash muttered, kicking at a clump of grass. She had finally landed, too tired to fly. "She has five awesome friends, and she didn't think to go to any of them before jumping into the stupid river?"

Fluttershy put a wing around Rainbow Dash. "It's not her fault. She was sick. Just like I was when we were in flight school. Just like what Discord did to us in the maze. Her sickness made her forget her friends."

Rainbow Dash shrugged herself out of her friend's embrace. "I shoulda done something. I shoulda flown faster."

"You can't fly faster than a sonic rainboom," Applejack reminded her.

Rainbow Dash didn't respond, she just paced the length of the clearing.

Fluttershy wrapped Gummy in another hug, and the gator buried himself in her mane.

Rarity, who had brought her sewing kit with her in saddlebags, busied herself in stitching a black mourning hat.

Twilight hung her head. Placing the flowers on the gravesite seemed to have taken all the energy out of her.

Applejack watched her friends, saw their colors gray out as if they were fading away. Rage pulsed through her and she threw her hat on the ground, startling everypony.

"We were the Elements of Harmony, and now look at us! You didn't want to be a burden, well now you are! You hurt everypony in Equestria! How could you leave us? How could you leave your home defenseless... joyless? We need you, Pinkie Pie! ...I need you." To her dismay, tears burst from her eyes and she became an ugly, sobbing mess. She fell to the ground and buried her face in her hooves, dimly aware of her friends surrounding her. Her tears ran dry after a long while and she blinked scratchy eyes, still hiccuping as she struggled to get herself back under control.

"I'm so sorry, y'all. I don't know what came over me. None of what I said was fair to her. I shoulda known better."

Rarity lay down next to Applejack to look her in the eye. "You were telling the truth about how you feel. That takes a lot of courage. I should know." Rarity half-smiled. "It doesn't matter that it's not reasonable, it's how you feel inside, and you need to be honest with _yourself_ or you're never going to move on."

"Well as long as I'm being honest, I'm worried about the farm. I'm days behind on chores. Big Mac has been trying to pick up the slack but we're all hurtin'."

"I can help you with the chores. All you had to do was ask."

"But you hate gettin' your hooves dirty! And what about your boutique?"

"I always work ahead in case I run into problems, and... business has been slow with the lack of parties. And helping you through this is more important than some dirty hooves."

Fluttershy stepped forward. "I can help too. And if any of you need to cuddle a critter, you know my door is always open. I know that always helps me."

Rainbow Dash helped Applejack to her hooves. "You know I'll be there! I sent a letter to the Wonderbolts today letting them know I won't be available for a week or two. They'll understand, and if they don't, it's more important that I'm there for you guys." She glanced back at the grave. "I'll never leave ya hanging. Never again."

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "I'll help however I can."

Fluttershy noticed Applejack's hat lying on the ground and picked it up. After dusting it off, she hesitated for a second. Then she put it on her own head and crossed her front hooves. "I'm Applejack, and I cry on the inside!" she said, mimicking her friend's drawl.

Applejack snorted, then hooted with laughter. Rainbow Dash fell onto her back, rolling like a turtle as she clutched at her sides. Twilight joined her, and Rarity snickered, covering her mouth with her hoof. Fluttershy's heart lifted to see her friends' colors brighten before her eyes, and she fell to the ground laughing with them.

Suddenly, a bright light emanated from the cave entrance. The five ponies rushed over to the Tree of Harmony to see that Pinkie Pie's element, the blue balloon that represented Laughter, was glowing. Looking at her friends, Twilight realized that all of them were glowing with a blue aura. She gasped, and then looked at her own hooves. She was glowing too!

"We didn't lose an Element after all! We're all so closely connected, none of us are just one Element. Each of us embodies laughter, kindness, honesty, loyalty, and generosity. Pinkie Pie lives on in all of us."


End file.
